The Journey
on Mar 16 in Poetry/Prose by adminI am tired, but the journey has just begun.
I am weary, but my eyes have just begun to heal.
It is a great pain to me to be rebuked by those who are sure that I have lost my way, that I do not follow the Path, that I whirl in bewilderment like a drunken elephant amid over ripe marula fruit.
What they do not understand is that I am only following the course they set before me, it is just that I have followed it farther than they have been and so they no longer recognize the things I see and say.
“Devote your life to truth.” and again, “Truth is worth more than all.” and again, “Do not care a whit for what the world and naysayers think of you as you walk this path.”
So I did what they said, I traveled where they pointed, and esteemed truth as they had counseled. But as I consumed information I grew, as I grew I became wiser, and with wisdom in my eyes the parts they had fitted together were no longer plumb.
But what was I to do? They said, “Follow truth though the heavens fall.” And I replied, “Very well, I must go and perhaps I’ll see you later.”
Confused, fearful, belittling, they ran after, “What are you doing? Where are you going?” “I am seeking truth.” I replied. “But all we have told you, that is the truth!” they quipped. “No” I said, “that is only part of it, I must seek the Whole.” “But we are all there is!” now their fear and indignation was creeping through, “you will be lost if you leave; to hell and to woe is where your feet turn!” “No,” I replied, “I turn my feet to truth, and you sit here amid prejudice, partiality, and fear.”
Parts of me miss such simplicity; being able to open a book and really believe that it could tell you everything about reality, God, death, and life. But, as I journeyed I met others, read other books, but they too were only parts, and they too thought themselves the whole.
Am I afraid? Not now, but it comes and goes. They instilled fearful threats for contradicting their tradition, horrible consequences for doubting their doctrines, and deep fire for testing the Spirit. But, how small – indeed how very small – do these things now appear to me, for all religions do this.
If I were born Muslim, then I would be filled with Muslim truths and fears. If I were Hindu, then with Hindu fear and truths would I be brimming. And on and on it goes, and not just with religions either, it goes through politics, through sciences, through family, through all of our cults – our cultures.
“Faith is the proof, and doubt is the sin!” And that would impress me if all the world did not chant along. How is Brahman proven? Faith. How is YHWH proven? Faith. How is resurrection proven? Faith. How is reincarnation proven? Faith. Faith is the magic well that gives to every mind easy water, but it is water without substance that cannot sustain the individual through the drought of reality and death.
As one studies the mind, they realize that they have been programmed from birth. Your environment and experiences, your family and friends, your church and your foes; they have all shaped you into what you are and you never even knew it. Truth is irrelevant during this time, truth doesn’t shape you, it is only raw information and group pressure that shapes you. That is how suicide bombers are empowered to kill singing praises, that is how Nazi’s stoked the fire with Jews and returned to laugh and roast marshmallows; their programmers made them, their environment validated them, and their conscience approved.
Thus it is manifest why we cannot simply trust what we have heard. We cannot merely believe what we are told, listen to our conscience, or be comforted by our environs. We must devastate the very pillars upon which our identity is built so that we can realize what we truly are; we must destroy the house as it has come to be so that we can make sure it is fashioned after truth.
I am tired, but my journey has just begun.
I am weary, but my eyes have just begun to heal.
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